Google Products We'll Never See

1. Google Hitman Assistant - Find, schedule, and collect on all your assassinations with this suite of products.

2. Googlearchy - Tired of democracy? Install the government that everyone loves without annoying pop-up ads.

3. Google Smite - An extension of Google Earth; uses laser beams attached to satellites to exact revenge or just have some fun for paid subscribers.

4. Google Carnage - Use real-time satellite images to zoom in an see car, train, or plane crashes and other disasters.

5. Google Ogle - The hottest unsecured webcams on the Internet.

6. Googlebator - Google's first attempt at hardware; to be used in conjunction with Google Ogle

7. Google Alibi - Paid service that will provide you with a credible account for your whereabouts.

8. Google Telegraph - Dash-Dot, Dash-Dash-Dash, Dash

9. Google Gaggle - The only search engine for geese.

10. Google Invading Force - Some pesky third world country got you down? Send in the troops with Google's new troop management tool.

11. Gogoel - Search tool for dyslexics.