funny joke lists

Star Trek

25 Reasons Why Captain Kirk is Better Than Captain Picard

25. Kirk is a leader, not a follower.
24. Kirk never really got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look.
23. Kirk has sex more than once a season.
22. One Word: Hair.
21. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever.
20. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.
19. Kirk doesn't wear dresses when admirals arrive for lunch.
18. Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis.
17. Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology.
16. Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt.
15. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at Chess.
14. When Kirk was Picard's age, he retired from Admiral and took to climbing rocks.
13. Kirk's first officer NEVER tells him to stay on the bridge.
12. Kirk doesn't rely on the wisdom of some dumb old janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes.
11. Ever hear of a bar shooter called "Make it so?" No? How about a "Beam me up Scotty" then? See the difference?
10. Picard flunked his entrance exams to Starfleet.
9. Picard hasn't fathered any children; Kirk -- probably millions.
8. Kirk has a cool phaser -- not some pansy Braun mix-master.
7. Two Words: Line Delivery.
6. Kirk's bridge is not beige.
5. Picard likes wimpy violin music -- and coerces Data into playing it.
4. Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even really cute
things, like Tribbles.
3. Kirk never once, ever,wore a wiener wrapping Speedo banana hammock on
shore leave.
2. Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting ensign.
1. When Kirk says "Boldly Go," he MEANS it!