Good Reasons for a Guy to Stay Single
You won't have to explain why you're wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants.
You can leave the toilet seat in any position you damn well please.
You can actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls, I'm here".
You'll be painting the town instead of the house.
When you get home after work, you don't have to start work again.
You could actually show my girlfriend where you live.
You'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.
The only weeds you'd be concerned with are the ones you're rolling.
You would have saved $372,416.21 in groceries by now.
You wouldn't catch so much grief about those skid-marks in your underwear.
You'd get to see what your paycheck looks like.
You'd get to see what your credit cards look like.
You can see a different face when you wake up in the morning, every day of the week!
Going to a strip club doesn't have to be a covert mission.
Bachelors don't have Mother-in-laws.
You wouldn't have to watch sub-titled French films.
You could home drunk to sleep, instead of under a bridge.
You can use your own name at hotels.
You wouldn't have a driving instructor grading you every time you go somewhere.
And finally, when asked his opinion, a single guy can still say "Hell yes, those pants make you look fat!" (of course, he'll never score though ;)