funny joke lists


Top 10 " Arguments" Against Gay Marriage
  • Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. That's why infertile couples and old people can't legally get married.

  • Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

  • Straight marriage, such as Britney Spears' 55-hour, just-for-fun marriage, will be less meaningful.

  • Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; for example, women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

  • Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because majority-elected legislatures, and not courts, have historically done such a swell job of protecting the rights of minorities in the past.

  • Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

  • Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

  • Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

  • Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer life spans.

  • Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name, are preferable, because separate-but-equal institutions are constitutional.