funny joke lists


Jesus vs. Elvis: A Comparison

Mere Coincidence or Cosmic Plan?

JESUS was a carpenter.
ELVIS' favorite high school class was wood shop.

JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
ELVIS said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA 1956)

JESUS was part of the Trinity.
ELVIS' very first band was a trio.

JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965)

JESUS' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
ELVIS' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."
(John 7:37)
ELVIS said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)

JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

JESUS's mother, Mary, had an Immaculate Conception.
ELVIS's wife, Priscilla, attended Immaculate Conception High School.

JESUS had his famous Resurrection.
ELVIS had his famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land.
ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.