Workplace Jargon (a.k.a. MBA BS)

If you don’t know what it is, call it an ‘issue’…

If you don’t know how it works, call it a ‘process’…

If you don’t know whether it's worth doing, call it an ‘option’…

If you don’t know how it could possibly be done, call it a ‘challenge’ or an ‘exciting opportunity’…

If you want to confuse people, ask them about ‘customers’…

If you want to direct attention away from past mistakes, refer often of 'going forward'...

If you don’t know how to do something, ‘empower’ someone else to do it for you…

If you can’t take decisions, ‘create space’ for others to operate…

If you need a decision, call a ‘workshop’ to ‘network’ and ‘ground the issue’, followed by an ‘awayday’ to ‘position the elephant in the room’ and achieve ‘buy-in’…

Never criticize or boast, call it ‘information sharing’…

Never call something a failure or mistake, its a ‘positive learning experience’…

Never argue, have an ‘adult conversation’…